(this morning, a friend sent encouraging words,
asked me to keep fighting against cancer that invades my body,
suddenly i realized something tremendous)

Christ healed my cancer two thousand years ago
so i too, have finished fighting against it

like Job who fought not
but guarded his heart
of what he believed came from God
i now fight for my faith
the faith that deserves
every drop of blood of mine 
and every pus drips from my wound
they don't spill out for no reasons

every pain i savor
is a drip of faith refilling my vessel's prayers,
let ugly stiches on my body
be like lovely rosary beads
tattooed on my skin

help me guard my faith, friends
till i finish the end line
i know victory will be mine
as in Him all things will be more than just fine

yes, i know my life isn't that 'grand'
yet i won't regret every single time
for in Him i shan't complain

let my lips keep praising
and my heart keep rejoicing
though life pushes me to its fiercest brim
help me return all the glory to Him

for Christ has pinned  my cancer on the cross
two thousand years ago...

(by His wounds, i have been healed...1 peter 2:24)

FeRa, feb'17

#cancerpoetry

#cancerpoetry

the smell of the rotten flesh
occupies the breastless chest
the youth's pride has left
leaving her in a terrible mess

the smell of the rotten flesh
parches the faith onced firmly confessed
the fiercest test of her life
was started in the decaying breast

His grace's sufficient

stage four they said,

nothing could be done
just choose the options
the one that suits your pocket size

how long, I asked
as long as you live, they said

and i walked away with a grateful heart
my pocket's full with hope

His grace's sufficient,
i said..

#cancerpoetry

nov 25, 2016

when they say,
it's terminal!
i say,
well... nothing is eternal

if you know victory will be your final,
why bother?

4b

four b yet manage to be happy
couldn't find any reasons not to be
it's the grandest life from Thee

only by Thy mercy i see it differently

thank  Thee for sinking me
in the beauty others may not see

a little note of what cancer has taught me...

once, i thought she was my number one enemy
i hated her and tried to toss her on fire
(the sensation of torturing her with knife, fire, and trampled on her body was kind of  multiple orgasms)

now i realize she is my teacher
my exclusive private maha guru
she's been teaching me a lot this past two years

she's opened my eyes though i could see nothing but darkness...
though most of the time i find it hard
to say that God's sitting right beside me, supporting me...

she's taught me not to force Him
to appear in my clouds.
heavy storms, thunderous rain, dark nights and my dumb stupidity
all work together blocking His Throne
for me to reach.
but she let me sense the Glorious Throne even when all the tiny hopes i've built
have never become a majestic  shape
of reality..

most of all she teaches me
to believe beyond what i see

my understandings will never suffice
but thank to her
who teaches me more to feel
not the unbearable pain in my body
and mind,
but the mighty hands are working beyond things i can comprehend...

humbly i'd say,
for me, physical recovery isn't the only proof of His promises that i seek

what matter most is, i know everything will turn out to be ok in the end... even if the world won't compell...

thanks to you ms. CA

#cancerpoetry

18 not yet 19

faster than her peers
crossing this angry river had never been easier
yet her feet were stronger than any spears

she finished her courses earlier
leaving all fighters struggling with their papers
but she did it well
though this world didn't compel
she submitted the test's papers with a smile

'fear not' she said
'hold the Words and we wouldn't be misled'
'we need not walk under the shade'
'hold your head up as we were in a parade'

she's only 18 not yet 19
she's finished the end of the line
ascended the ultimate throne
though she's only 18 not yet 19

till we meet again, friend...